i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
