Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
