Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
