it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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