Buhtt sex?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
