I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
