Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
