i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
