Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
