I have demons in me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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