there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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