people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize