and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
