My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
