i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
