you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After tacos, we're chasing women.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
