This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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