I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
