my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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