So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize