i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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