i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
