Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
