Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
