I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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