she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
