direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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