I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
