I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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