You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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