you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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