If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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