im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
