Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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