Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
