Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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