I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
