no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
