I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
