no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
