So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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