You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
