I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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