I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
