dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
