i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
