After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize