If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
