he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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