she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
