Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
