you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
whose parrot is this?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
