Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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