U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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