Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
