Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
