im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
