Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
