My first STD was from a foam party
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
