So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
