Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
