i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
