i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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