I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
