Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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