so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
