My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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