Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
