Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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