Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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