I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
