She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
