He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
