I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
